When it comes to making decisions—whether small or life-changing—one of the most powerful emotional influences we face is the fear of future regret; it's the nagging feeling of “What if I make the wrong choice?” that causes us to either play it safe or, in some cases, take a leap into the unknown. The fear of regret can lead to decisions that feel overly cautious or even overly adventurous, all in an effort to avoid the dreaded “what if” scenarios that haunt our future selves.
But how do we balance making smart decisions without being paralysed by the potential for regret? In this blog, we will explore how the fear of future regret influences decision-making, why some people lean toward safer choices while others chase adventure and strategies you can use to minimise regret and make decisions with confidence.
Understanding the Fear of Future Regret
At the core of many decisions, there is a lurking fear of making a mistake that will come back to haunt us. This emotional burden often stems from imagining a future where we wish we had taken a different path. Regret is such a powerful emotion because it combines disappointment with self-blame. The idea that we might look back and say, “If only I had...” causes anxiety, and this anxiety significantly impacts the decisions we make today.
Psychologists refer to this as anticipated regret—the emotional forecast we make when weighing our options. It’s human nature to want to avoid negative emotions, and anticipated regret can push us toward choices that feel safer or more predictable, even when riskier options might have greater rewards.
Safe vs. Adventurous Choices: The Influence of "What If?"
When faced with a decision, people often fall into one of two camps based on their fear of regret: those who make safe, conservative choices and those who opt for more adventurous, risk-taking choices.
1. Safe Choices
People who lean toward safe choices often do so because the fear of regret looms large. In their minds, they imagine scenarios where taking a risk leads to failure, disappointment, or embarrassment. For them, the pain of regret over what could go wrong feels too high a price to pay. This is why many people stick to what they know, whether it’s staying in a secure job, living in a familiar city, or choosing a well-worn path that minimises uncertainty.
Consider a professional who has worked in the same industry for ten years. They’ve been offered a new, exciting job opportunity in a different field, but the thought of leaving their stable, comfortable position fills them with fear. They imagine worst-case scenarios where the new job doesn’t work out, and they’re left without options. Instead of taking the plunge, they stay put, choosing a sense of security over the unknown, driven by the desire to avoid the regret of “What if it doesn’t work out?”
2. Adventurous Choices
On the flip side, some people make adventurous choices because their fear of regret is rooted in missing out on opportunities. For these individuals, the idea of looking back and wondering, “What if I had taken that chance?” feels unbearable. This motivates them to take risks, whether it’s pursuing a new career, starting a business, travelling the world, or chasing a passion. They’re willing to embrace uncertainty to avoid the regret of playing it safe.
Case Example:
An entrepreneur might leave behind a stable corporate job to start their own business. While they recognise the risk, their fear is driven by the idea that they might look back in 10 years and regret not taking the chance to follow their dream. For them, the regret of not trying outweighs the potential regret of failing.
The Psychology of Regret: Why We’re Wired to Avoid It
Humans are naturally loss-averse, meaning we often work harder to avoid losses than to achieve gains. Regret falls into this category of loss because it feels like a missed opportunity or wasted potential. Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, who developed prospect theory, found that people tend to weigh potential losses more heavily than potential gains when making decisions, which is why the fear of regret can be so paralysing.
Moreover, counterfactual thinking plays a huge role in how regret affects our decisions. This type of thinking involves imagining alternative realities—what might have happened if we’d made a different choice. While counterfactual thinking can be helpful for learning from mistakes, it can also trap us in a cycle of “what ifs” that heighten our fear of making the wrong decision.
Strategies to Minimise Regret and Make Confident Decisions
So, how can we manage the fear of future regret and make decisions we can feel good about, whether they’re adventurous or safe? Here are several strategies to help you minimise regret and move forward with confidence:
1. Focus on Values, Not Outcomes
One of the best ways to avoid regret is to align your decisions with your core values rather than specific outcomes. Outcomes can be unpredictable, but when you make a choice that reflects your values—such as honesty, integrity, creativity, or personal growth—you are more likely to feel at peace with your decision, regardless of the result.
For example, if you value personal growth, choosing a career move that challenges you, even if risky, might be less likely to result in regret because you stayed true to what matters most to you.
At Next Dimension Story, we coach individuals to tap into their Heart (Values), Mind (Skills) and Gut (Instinct) to make well-rounded, smart decisions in life. When we talk about tapping into your heart, we are talking about your core values that determine your outlook in life. When we are discussing mind-based matters, we are talking about using your skills to analyse data points and infer deep insights from the data. Moreover, we not only coach individuals to tap into their hearts and minds but also enable individuals to combine heart and mind with their life experience (gut instinct/intuition) to guide them to make smart choices in life. Check out the highly effective 3-step (Heart + Mind + Gut) decision-making framework from Next Dimension Story and take action by downloading our free 1-page worksheet.
Additionally, sign up for one of our free coaching webinars to explore the powerful technique of tapping into your values, skills, and experiences to make good decisions in life.
2. Reframe Regret as a Learning Tool
Rather than viewing regret as something to be feared, see it as a learning opportunity. Every decision, whether it leads to success or failure, brings valuable lessons. If you can view regret as a tool for growth rather than a personal failure, it becomes less threatening and more manageable.
For example, if you regret not taking a certain job offer, you can analyse why you made the decision and use that insight to inform future choices rather than letting the regret fester.
3. Practise “Premortem” Thinking
A strategy to counteract anticipated regret is to perform a premortem analysis—a mental exercise where you imagine a decision failing and then work backward to identify why it might go wrong. This technique can help you prepare for potential setbacks and make more informed choices.
By visualising failure ahead of time, you can reduce the fear of regret because you’ve already anticipated what could happen and have developed a plan to address it.
By linking your heart, mind, and gut to your innate purpose (your purpose-driven story), you can do a thorough premortem analysis prior to making good decisions. At Next Dimension Story, our Chief Decision-Making coach, George Eapen, has used his 20+ years of experience to develop audio and video courses around Smart Decision-Making, to enable individuals to perform a detailed premortem, thereby helping them to make good decisions in life. Check out the Next Dimension Story audio courses and video courses to learn how to conduct a premortem and make sound decisions in your life.
4. Set a Time Limit for Decisions
Indecision often leads to more regret than making the wrong decision. To avoid decision fatigue and the anxiety that comes with it, set a specific time limit for making choices. Once the deadline has passed, commit to your decision without second-guessing.
For example, if you’re deciding between two job offers, give yourself a week to gather information and reflect. At the end of the week, make a choice and move forward confidently, knowing you’ve done your due diligence.
At Next Dimension Story, we use a SMART framework to enable you to set a time limit and act to make good decisions. Moreover, through the SMART approach, we enable individuals to clearly map out the key tasks and timelines to turn their decisions into a positive reality.
5. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Adopting a growth mindset — the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed—helps reduce regret by emphasising learning and development over fixed outcomes. When you view decisions as part of a continuous learning process, you are less likely to feel regret, even if things don’t go as planned.
People with a growth mindset understand that failure is not permanent, and they can always improve and adjust their course over time.
6. Remember That No Decision Is Permanent
One of the greatest sources of fear in decision-making is the belief that a choice is permanent or irreversible. However, most decisions allow for flexibility and adjustment. Remind yourself that very few choices are set in stone, and you often have the ability to pivot or change direction if needed.
Knowing that you can course-correct if things don’t go as planned can make it easier to make bold decisions without the constant fear of future regret.
Conclusion: Embracing Fear While Making Confident Choices
The fear of future regret is a natural and often useful part of the decision-making process. It pushes us to consider the potential consequences of our actions and can help us avoid making impulsive or short-sighted choices. However, when the fear of regret becomes paralysing, it can prevent us from making decisions that align with our goals and values.
By using strategies like focusing on values, reframing regret, and setting time limits for decisions, we can reduce the emotional weight of regret and make confident, informed choices—whether they lead us down safe or adventurous paths. Ultimately, it’s not about avoiding regret entirely but learning how to make decisions that we can stand behind, knowing that we’ve made the best choice with the information and instincts available to us.
If you want to accelerate your learning and your confidence to make good decisions, consider signing up for a 1 to 1 decision-making coaching session with George Eapen, Chief Decision-Making Coach at Next Dimension Story. George, with over 20+ years of decision-making experience, will guide you to tap into your skills(Mind), intuition(Gut), values(Heart), and purpose to make smart choices that will help you move confidently into a new phase in your life. Live a confident life by making bold, smart, good decisions!
So, the next time you face a decision, ask yourself: Is this choice aligned with my values? And if things don’t go as planned, what will I learn? By shifting your mindset, you can stop fearing future regret and start embracing the decision-making process with confidence.
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